Pain, Anger, and Progress

So this week ended with a little bit of Pain, a little more Anger, and some Progress.  

Pain

The pain comes in the form of the liver swelling up a bit and being just generally a bit of a problem this week.   The reason for that is simple and two fold.   The “good” reason is that I am excercising and taking the regimen of supplements that has been recommended.  From Taurine, Algae, C, Milk Thistle and some B-10 we are getting somewhere.   The “bad” part is that I made a choice to indulge on my wife’s birthday.   I slip up, a cock-up, and after only two glasses- where are previously that would not have even phased me- I was a bit looped.  Worse, I angered the liver.  Not smart, not clever, but hey I am human and prone to the occasional temptation.

Anger

Focusing purely on the emotional for a moment- it was a hard week for me.  We are entering the holiday season and cocktails and canapes- and some of my most treasured tastes are coming into season.   I am simultaneously angry- more pissed off- that I cannot have them in the way that I would have previously.    Likewise, I am angry with myself, because I think that I few years agao I swaundered an opportunity to improve myself- after my heart attack- and I did not do it.   I kept on ,after a respectable period, with my eye on my health- but not doing what I could have to improve my current lot.   What if—-that really pisses me off.   There is no one to blame but me- and that is its own form of hell.

Progress

Getting to and maintaining the target heart rate is the most important part of my cardio

For the first time in my life, I have been able to truly exert self-discipline in my private sphere of life and health that I so adeptly could exhibit in my work life.   I know what has to be done.  I am counting caloires, educating myself of food choice, keeping a journal, and more-over keeping to my commitment to myself to go to the gym.   Even finding that when I get deep down, that when I am on that treadmill and the “time and calorie” counter are up- that I want to push through it.   Keeep going.  Just for me.  Just becasue it makes me feel good. 

I have also found a great new tool to warm up with- Something called a “PowerPlate” which helps me challenge my warm-ups before the cardio.  More on that later.

So- the big news is that I kept the calories below 2000 everyday this week.   I have hit my targets.  That is enough for this week.   Just for now- I am okay and a bit proud of myself.